I Drove The Tesla P85D, And Now Nothing I Drive Will Feel The Same Way Again



Growing up, life is full if a lot of “firsts” that we can somehow always seem to remember, be they influential on the rest of our life or not. My first kiss was a girl named Heather, my first car was a Mercury Villager minivan, and the first concert I attended was Ozzfest, the summer of 2001. This past weekend, I finally drove my first legitimate supercar, the Tesla Model S P85D, and now nothing I drive will ever feel the same way.

It’s not that I’ve never driven a fast car before, or that I haven’t “gone fast” either. The Saab 900 Turbo that was my second car took me me north of 140 MPH more than once, but it took a lot of road and time to get there. My 1995 Trans Am was in a different class from the Saab, leaving strips of rubber in my wake wherever I went and getting me into trouble with Johnny Law on more than one occasion.

But the Tesla P85D is so fucking fast you barely have time to register just how fast your going. You just look straight forward, go woah, maybe swear, and then laugh and smile. I don’t cuss often here, because when I do, I want it to leave an impression. This is one of those times. The Tesla P85D is just pure, confident acceleration on four wheels. It feels like a rollercoaster just launched you into a loop-the-loop. When my co-pilot switched it into Insane mode, it was like somebody forced Bruce Banner to sit through Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Things got really angry, really fast, in an extremely satisfying manner. That’s a Hulk reference for you not-nerds.

I’m not sure insane is even the right word for it. If I may be so bold, the Tesla P85D is the definition of awesome, a word so overplayed and overused (yes, I’m guilty) that it has lost all sense of what it used to mean. Google defines awesome as “extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear.” That’s the Tesla P85D for you, all wrapped up in one word.


The backroads stuffed into the corner of Greenwich, Connecticut where my road test took place weren’t long enough to fully wring out the P85D, but I had more than enough room to test the much-publicized 0 to 60 MPH acceleration. I didn’t bring any official instrumentation, but it sure feels like 3 seconds, and in the span of a couple of breaths I found myself practically floating my way from 25 to over 75 MPH. Just, whoosh, suddenly you’re pushed back in your seat and going faster than you ever thought possible. It’s like going mad with power; suddenly anything seems possible. You feel invincible, especially after the presentation boasting of their 5.4 star safety rating (yes, really).

My wife came along for the test drive, and her reaction can be summed up as “Holy shit.” In public settings she’s usually pretty quiet and reserved, but after the test drive all she could do was ask how I was planning on affording one. All in due time, sweetheart. All in due time.

Let me throw a few more descriptive sentences your way. It’s like, Google search results on gigabit Internet fast. It’s smoother than anything you’d find in the Victoria’s Secret catalog. It was every bit as glorious as time I saw my first-girlfriend’s boobs (not Heather). It is more motivational than any Hollywood-scripted high school sports team speech you’ve ever heard.

If you told me I could feed a thousand hungry children for a year, or I could have a Tesla P85D if I drove it past those same starving children, I’d have to think about it. Like, really, really think about it. I know that makes me a terrible person, but it really is that good.

I’ve never felt more motivated to make absurd sums of money than I am now, if only to one day own a Tesla P85D. I’m not a materialistic guy; I drive a Chevy Sonic, I live in a 900 sq-ft house, and the little extra money I earn tends to go towards new experiences rather than things. I still love concerts and road trips, and covering events like the New York Auto Show. Sometimes, I get a free trip on an automaker’s dime, but more often than not, it comes out of my not-very-deep pockets.

Stuff doesn’t matter as much as experiences to me. What I’m trying to say is, the Tesla P85D is an experience. It has changed the way I look at all cars. It’s like finally turning 18, and all the cool stuff adults have been hoarding for themselves suddenly became available. This is not the end-all, be-all of automotive creation, but it is a revelation of sorts. Imagine where electric cars might be today if automakers hadn’t been so stubbornly defiant about not making it work.

There’s a part of me that feels bad for liking Tesla so much. I was a loyal and devout Ford fan for many years, and while I bounced back and forth between different brands, I always came back to Ford. I have a 1969 Mercury Cougar in my garage, and I’ve almost lost all interest in it. Even if I had an unlimited budget, I’d go talk to the guys at Bloodshed Motors before stuffing any sort of gas-powered engine back in there.

You can call me a Tesla fanboy, I really don’t care. If I did, I wouldn’t have lasted very long as a writer in the Internet age. I have my doubts that Musk can achieve the lofty sales goals he has laid out, and the Model X will be a good indication of whether Tesla was just a fluke, or Tesla can be a real player in a highly competitive industry.

It’s not like I won’t ever enjoy driving another car. Variety is the spice of life, and I’m always seeking another new “first” to mark off my list. My dream garage includes classic Mustangs and Porsche, modified Jeeps, lead-sled Mercurys, a lot of 80s and 90s cult classics from Japan, and in the real world I’ve owned a bunch of low-budget-but-interesting rides from a Nissan 240sx to my beloved Wrangler. I love cars, I really do. I have so many great stories with so many different cars.

I’ll always remember my Tesla P85D test drive with the same fondness that as my rebadged Nissan minivan, the first time I fell in love, and the organized chaos of an amazing live music performance. Punching the throttle of the the P85D gave me the same rush of energy and adrenaline, and every sports, performance, or supercar that comes next (may there be many more) will be judged by those first few moments.

What I felt was speed and excitement, my fears and anxieties left behind by the brutish power of the Tesla P85Das I charged headfirst into the future, no looking back.

About the Author

A writer and gearhead who loves all things automotive, from hybrids to HEMIs, can be found wrenching or writing- or else, he’s running, because he’s one of those crazy people who gets enjoyment from running insane distances.

  • BigWu

    My response after driving the P85 for the first time (at pre-production test drive event): “Holey sh!t, if this is what crack is like I gotta stay away from the drugs!”

    Nearly 3 years on, my eyes still dilate with glee when I recall the pure unadulterated joy of that ride.

    • Arthur

      You’re gonna need morphine and not crack if you spend too much time in that back seat….just to ease the pain.

      • Kenneth Beck

        Have you even ridden in the Tesla before? No? Wow, I must be a psychic.

        • Arthur

          No, you are more of a psychotic.

          • Kenneth Beck

            Haha, you apparently dont like it because things you dont understand annoy you. No problem. Nobody cares about your blantant obsession over hating something you dont know anything about. When you actually ride the car, Then you can talk, otherwise. You can shut up! Have a GREAT DAY

  • TheLoneCoda

    Hell, I still enjoy the torquey surge of my Coda. I’d probably lose my mind in a P85D.

    • Arthur

      Ummm…is that Skoda?

      • TheLoneCoda

        Nope. A 2013 Coda EV Sedan. One of the 500 built before they went out of business.

        • Arthur

          Looks like the motor is up front…much safer design than TESLA….but just as my Panamera can beat a P85D, my Golf TDi can probably beat your Coda in every way, especially efficiency…..my PORSCHE is miles ahead of the P85D in efficiency.

          • TheLoneCoda

            You have a troll-like distance from reality. I’m not going to even go into the innacuracies of your statements.

          • Arthur

            So you don’t care about the fact that the natural gas power plants that are the #1 source of electricity in Connecticut have the same efficiency as my diesel, or less? What this means is that (and even a troll can figure this one out) for every 5 gallons of fuel you burn at the power plant, you’ve got 2 equivalent gallons of e-juice leaving the power plant. Then your e-juice still has to go through miles of transmission power lines…more miles of distribution power lines….many transformers (each with 1%+ loss)…and even your battery charger has more than 10% loss….bottom line, you start with 5 gallons of gas at the power plant…. you’ll be lucky if you’ve got an equivalent of 1 1/2 gallons in your battery…and then your Coda itself is at best 85% efficient.
            Like I said, my Panamera Turbo S is more efficient than Eman’s PRECIOUS P85D. The MPGe rating on EVs only accounts for getting the e-juice from the battery to the wheels, and does not account for…in any way shape or form…the very inefficient process of getting the e-juice into that high nickel content battery.

          • TheLoneCoda

            No. I’m not going to lay it out for you. Your mind is clearly made up. I would say that my electricity comes from the sun, and so your argument is moot, at least for folks like me.

          • Knetter

            Dont feed the troll. He’s clearly a complete idiot, look at the comment history: We have gems like this.
            ” So EVs and powerful plug-in hybrids are very popular among members of
            our community that have an alternative life style. Now the first symptom
            of negative health effects from EVs and powerful hybrids for adults is a
            certain type of bleeding. So our alternative lifestyle friends will go
            to their doctors in their EV or PHEV and complain about this symptom.
            The doctors will tell them that it is due to their lifestyle….and they
            will believe the doctors, who mean well and who think they are right,
            and our friends will continue to use their EVs and PHEVs. So here I am, a
            right-wing Christian conservative ”
            ” I think Dealers are an important part of the equation, especially for
            safety. Most dealerships are privately owned, so when automobile safety
            concerns arise, dealerships provide a separate entity that can make its
            own judgments. Dealerships in many cases establish personal
            relationships with clients and as a result will care a lot about the
            well being of its customers. On the other hand, a corporation that
            bypasses the dealers is in a very good position to cover up certain
            dangerous issues, especially if these cannot be detected in the
            automobile insurance claims statistics. A perfect example of this is
            TESLA. “

          • TheLoneCoda


          • Arthur

            Yeah….thanks for helping me get the word out to our fellow Americans.

            You should really search my good buddy Bloomberg’s blogs..you might learn something young feller.

          • Arthur

            You left out some stuff, probably not intentionally….let me help you:

            “So here I am, a right-wing Christian conservative, telling our
            alternative lifestyle friends that their doctors are not aware of a
            powerful carcinogen that is the most likely cause of their symptoms and a cancer that will take years to develop. And then there are all the nervous system disorders that take even longer to develop.”

          • Arthur

            How many trees did you chop down to have enough solar panels to supply your home and car with the e-juice, especially in the cold winters to heat your home? You know Connecticut is prime for growing trees and forests. Also, when you say….”would”….does that mean that mean “can” and that all the electricity you use comes from the sun? And yes I do know how to do the math with solar, and I am all in favor of placing it on roofs….but don’t you chop down my trees young feller.

          • Knetter

            You wont be here long. Have a good day troll. Ya old turd

          • TheLoneCoda

            So solar panels are made of wood are they, Abraham Lincoln?

          • Arthur

            No, solar panels need real estate, and so do trees. What that means is that you can’t have a tree and a solar panel in the same spot. I’m not sure why only a troll can understand that. Lots of God’s creatures depend on trees, and the more vegetation and forests you clear to make room for your solar farms, the more wildlife you kill, not to mention the fact that you’re depleting plants that convert carbon dioxide to oxygen.
            We should be using roofs and deserts. The photo of your coda has lots of arable land in the background, telling me you don’t live in the desert.

            And thank you for the best complement any old timer like me can get, but unlike Abe, I’m actually planning on going to hell to chase and wallop all the godless child experimenters till kingdom come. I just haven’t decided on the proper running shoes yet.

          • Kenneth Beck

            Everyone calls you out like an idiot for a reason…because you are. Learn science and technology and stop your draino snorting regiment. No wonder america has so many issues. Its morons like you that keep it from moving forward. Natural gas power production efficiency is higher no matter how you put it. It takes 5kwh of electricity to produce a gallon of gas. Also fossil fuels need to be tansported MANY times before it hits your tank. THEN your engine is only 25-40% efficient MAX and that is straight driving on highway. If the car sits and runs, its lower than that. You cannot refute those facts, and if you even try, it shows just how dumb you really are

          • Maxwell Erickson

            “Natural gas plants have the same efficiency as diesel” fine, but the vast majority of great people do not live in Connecticut, and they realize the Li-ion battery Tesla uses doesn’t use any sort of “high nickel content.” You’re thinking of LG Chem and their LiNiCo batteries. Oh, and if you want to talk efficiency at the user end “your Coda itself is at best 85% efficient” then come back when your precious Porsche can hit more than 55% efficiency on a good day at 43 mph.

            Ahem. You also attempt to go into specifics about the loss of efficiency from the source of electricity to the end user, which is absolutely laughable, as the gasoline you’re using for the Panamera came from halfway across the flipping planet.

          • Arthur

            Our number one source of foreign oil is Canada….numbnuts.

            I purchased and examined the same Panasonic batteries as the ones in the Tesla (except Tesla does not include the logic circuits to save cost)…and they are Nickel based….and Tesla will need to reach out to the Russians if Tesla wants to get Nickel cheap. Doubtful Tesla will get it for anything close to what China pays.

            The United States, Japan, China and Europe tried to keep the space program alive in Russia by purchasing their very dependable rocket engines and by providing other funding to make sure the world’s scientific community does not loose the very valuable part of space research that is Russia. So along came Mr. Musk and tried to destroy all that trust and cooperation.

          • Kenneth Beck

            Hmmmm, you start with using fuel to pump oil out of the ground, use fuel to transport to refineries, you use fuel to refine the fuel, you use fuel to transport to gas station, then you use more fuel to pump the fuel into your gas tank, then your car is only 30% efficient at moving the car with the fuel. Sounds like it is way more efficient to me! LOL.

          • Arthur

            So the fossil fuel burned in our fossil power plants just rains down from heaven, like manna?

            Again, 70% of our electricity is generated from fossil fuels. Most of the rest from plutonium (no, that’s not a dog breed).

            Modern truck engines are about 50% efficient. My VW’s engine is over 40% efficient. Typical power plant is significantly below 40%……I usually round it up to 35%.

            The best apples to apples comparison is a Nissan Leaf being fueled by a LNG plant to a Honda CNG….and the Honda will win. Let me know if you need to have this explained to you…I am willing to make an effort to make it as simple (and understandable for someone of your level of mental ability) as I can.

          • Jared Banyard

            Umm you are confusing some statistics. Fossil fuel power plants don’t use the same fuel that goes in gas vehicle. It takes a lot of energy to refine the fuel for gas cars, transport it, store it, and use it. You have to take all this into account. And the power grid is a mix of all kinds of electricity.

            Electric cars are MUCH more efficient about taking the energy out of a battery and putting it to the wheels than gas vehicles. Probably talking 75% vs 25% on average.

            You are also not counting the fact that many electric car drivers also have solar on their home.

            I wouldn’t make such broad statements. Here is some light reading I googled:


          • Kenneth Beck

            Exactly what I was trying to get through his thick skull. It doesnt matter what you say or what facts you show, he is that adamant about his position that he blatantly will ignore your facts and state a stupid reason that shows he doesnt listen.

          • Kenneth Beck

            Ok, so completely ignore refining inefficiency, transporting fuel, then the efficiency you state for engines are much less then what you said. While coal plants, which by the way are being shut down across the USA for the high efficiency of a natural gas plant, are not that low in efficiency. But even if they somehow were, it would still be more efficient than a car that uses gasoline or diesel due to the huge losses from transportation and refining of the fuel. Every gallon of gasoline made in just the refining process wastes enough power to make my nissan leaf go 20miles! Look up the numbers, or just drive by a refiner and see the power sub station they need just to themselves for refining fuel.

  • Arthur

    Well then young feller, you can drive your PRECIOUS all you want but it will be a cold day in hell before you force me into that highly electrified contraption dreamt up by an atheist. Just give me the Lord of the Rings, an RS7, and you don’t have a prayer of keeping up with me around the racetrack. And as far as picking up children along the way, it’s best that you keep going and let me pick them up and drive them in something safe and not something that will give a powerline worker a headache if he or she sits in the back seat for too long.

    • Maxwell Erickson

      Please stop making Lord of the Rings references. I’m a JRR Tolkien fan, and I deeply resent idiotic ultracrepidarians desperately attempting to justify gasmobiles by telling yourself that, somehow, EVs are more carcinogenous than cancerous-smog-belching inefficient, overcomplicated pollution machines.

      • Arthur

        Boy….I was readin Tolkin books when you were still just an lectric impulse in your parent’s brains….good thin there was no magnetic blender in the form of a 400 horepower lectric moter to disrupt the impulse.
        Now as far as the EVs go…the tailpipe is there…miles away..in a smokestack. I explained the losses a few of them blogs below. Also, smog is not a problem in the vast majority of American cities. Shanghai is so polluted on account of industry and all the other things made in Confucius’ land, not automobiles. We’ve got three times as many cars in NYC. Fact is, ever one new EV on the streets of Shanghai requires another tonne of coal burnt every some weeks at any one of the seventeen coal power plants in Shanghai….and oh..by the way…yer PRECIOUS’ batteries are Nickel based Panasonic NCR18650A made cheaper by removing the logic circuits.

        The added benefit of powerful electromagnetic fields is that they don’t affect just a particular group of cells in your body like tobacco or benzene would…..they permeate the whole body and hit everything and are capable of affecting various chemical processes within your body, including the synthesis of tumor suppressor proteins. The rest of my blog below is optional readin material….

        My other alias is U2art, and yes there is a musical connection. Oddly enough, the one number that always comes to mind when I think of U2 is the 8-ball ….on account of the garments that the Edge sometimes wore. When I met my favorite CEO last Zeptember, she was 53 years old….so 5+3=8. When I was picking up my Panamera in Manhattan last December, my favorite CEO was down the block doing an interview, still 53 yrs old. Later that day, I was in a NJ rest area in Montvale scanning through the wireless networks listening to a U2 tune….and the two numbers that stood out the most on the screen were 5 and 3. Last October I befriended a 53-year old who died a week later. The man that took his place was at one point a successful investor who traded thousands of stocks…but the only one he ever mentioned to me was 5th 3rd Bank…..in January, I must have gone to 30 Fifth Third banks looking for answers. There’s lots more…so what’s my point? Guess what is the number of the protein series that is our tumor suppressor protein…the guardian angel protein…I know….you have no clue what on earth I’m talking about….but some of our readers might….I think some feller above asked a question about religion.

    • zn

      I have much respect for the mighty RS7, but this would smoke the rings off that baby all day. My grand hope is that Audi follows chase on Tesla and throws out an RS7 electric that does justice to fine German engineering.

    • J_JamesM

      What does it matter that the designer doesn’t believe in God? Is that a serious consideration for you people? I sure wouldn’t want to live like that…

      • Arthur

        Lot esier for satan to tempt a non-believer…young feller…one thing’s fer sure…..that madman Musk is goin straight to hell once he’s done caterin to the evil one…aint no matter if hes on the Earth or on some forsakin red planet…..gonna give barrier tunnelin a whole new meanin.

        • Perttu Lehtinen

          Sounds rational.

  • Deep Time

    He said “boobs.” Heh heh.

  • MisterEman

    I have a P85 and didn’t think I’d notice the difference with the P85D. Last week, I test drove a “D” while taking a Tesla factory tour in Fremont (have to schedule it ahead of time). Boy, was I wrong! For a split second I couldn’t catch my breath. A tinge of panic grabbed me before I realized I was still in control. The 4 tires grabbed the pavement and threw the planet behind me violently. What a rush! The difference between 0-60 in 3.2 seconds vs. 4.2 seconds may not sound like much, but it is a 25% increase. I understand that with the latest software upgrade on 4/13, it’s down to 2.9-3.0 seconds. If it gets any lower, people may lose consciousness. Wow!

    • Arthur

      Now hold on there young feller, what I want to know is if that 5000 pound combination of a battery made in Japan and electric motors on skinny wheels turns corners….or does it just go in a straight line. My Golf TDi has a shorter stopping distance, so I’m gonna be very careful stepping on my brakes if that non-green machine of yours is tailgating me on the Wilbur Cross cause it can’t deal with the turns.

      • MisterEman

        Yes, Grandpa, it does hold the ground. Those 7,000 batteries are in the floor pan below the axles. That makes its CG so low you couldn’t tip it over if you tried. Very flat around corners. NHTSA had to bring in a forklift to tip their Model S over during their safety testing – driving wouldn’t do it. And your shorter stopping distance, if true, is no doubt due to the fact that your TDi can’t get above 45 mph unless it’s going downhill with a good tailwind. Keep on with that smelly beetle bomb of yours and giving your money to Shell Oil. And I’ll try to “keep out of your yard!” 🙂

        • Arthur

          I think you’re the first feller that has not complained about the lousy suspension of the TESLA. Lousy suspension + skinny tires + heavy weight = bad cornering ability in my book…unless that there battery pack on wheels contraption aint need to follow laws of Sir Isaac Newton.

          As far as my Fahrvergnügen VW that is greener than any EV out there, what it lacks in horsepower it makes up for in good ol fashion torque. Fact is young man, my VW TDi has more torque per kilogram than many TESLAs, and it’s much better for the environment.

          Now as far as all you lyin about your EV being zeromissions and all that, I say horsefeces (different word comes to mind but I try to be respectful)…I can see your tailpipe from miles away at that ConEd plant.

          Now if yer TESLA really got the 90 MPGe considerin burnin LNG at the source, perhaps I would be less critical…but the rear seat design bothers me a helluva lot more.

          • MisterEman

            There, there, old fart, calm down. Maybe you’re getting your strained peas mixed up with your Milk of Magnesia. It happens. Remember, the only fellers you’re talking to about Teslas are your friends in the nursing home. All the real “outside people” rave about Tesla’s handling and suspension (Motor Trend, Consumer Reports, Autocar, etc.). And check out any scientific study (that’d be fact-based stuff) and you’ll find that EV’s pollute at least half what hybrids do even in 90%+ coal-fired electric power plant states. And since you brought up Newton, here’s something he’d appreciate: a report from the Union of Concerned Scientists on how EV’s are much better for the environment and getting better all the time:

            Now, as far as your Fartinengine VW diesel, I can smell it from here, and it’s making me wheeze, you know, like you do when Vanna White walks out on Wheel of Fortune. You obviously have a lot of time on your hands to troll the message boards, and I can tell it means a lot to you to go back and forth like this. But, while it’s been fun, know that this is my last post to you as I have better things to do. And my posts were more for any others looking in (hope you’ve all enjoyed!). Now as for you, Arthur, it’s about nap-nap time, isn’t it? You can troll with your friends later. Bye-Bye!!

          • Arthur

            Go stuff some ice bags under your PRECIOUS….this way it might just be able to keep up with one of them there vertible Miatas for one lap round the track….but I suppose that’s why those joyriders at Motortrend call it the best and fastest….young feller…cause with enough patience and trips to a local 7-Eleven and Home Depot, it may just be able to do a lap without overheatin. Just make sure young feller that you don’t let the battery drain fully….I understand it then becomes a brick…you will need a new one…but don’t you fret none, those bloggers for the Union of Concerned Scientists will figure out how to turn a reakin and plenty toxic landfill full of batteries into a playground for children….you know back in the day, scientists discussed things like the Schrödinger equation but now everone thinks their some scientists of sorts on account of being able to blog on some inernet site and poke fun at old folks.

            Vanna White? Bummer….how on earth did you find out about me and Vanna….just don’t tell my wife….she can get pretty worked up over those kinds of things and then theres all sorts of flyin objects….best my ol lady don’t find out.

          • PreserveOurRepublic

            MisterEman…it pretty clear you are writing the comments of Arthur as well. Not sure why…perhaps you are a bigot?

          • MisterEman

            Wow… didn’t see THAT comin’! Yeah, that’s what I like to do all day. Why don’t you go back to studying yer constitooshunal soverin sitizin screed.

            Sheesh, who let all these idiots on the web? I remember a time when the Internet was accessible only to thinking people. . GD Mosaic!!

          • Arthur

            Why that’s some mighty clever master debating MiserEman. When you mutter: “And check out any scientific study (that’d be fact-based stuff) and you’ll find that EV’s pollute at least half what hybrids do even in 90%+ coal-fired electric power plant states.” you are leavin your precious BEVs open for some serious reaming. So you are insinuatin that EVs pollute twice as much as hybrids since “twice” follows yer conditional statement of bein “at least half”.

            Futhermore, the betery in them there TESTAs is some forty times some the size of the unit in those queer (means strange young feller) hybrids, so much more pollutants and mutanogens in them there landfills for our kids to contend with, specially the Nikel.

            Now as far as yer UCS, I don’t care much for unions…as these lead to socialism…the silencing of individuals. Look what the NAZIs did….socialism just plain sucks…and all forms thereof…it’s anti-religion so it’s not surprisin that socialism encourages human xperimentashon which is epitomised in yer TESTA……now seein how you’re one cantankerous testy feller…I’ll be watin for a response..and don’t waste my time by conterdikin yerself again by the unknowingly usin paronomasia….”pollute at least half” my S.

          • MisterEman

            News Item: “VW caught cheating on clean diesel emissions tests. CEO resigns.”

            (Please lips… don’t unpurse)

          • Perttu Lehtinen

            I love the characteristics of electric motors. I couldn’t care less about your shitty and noisy TDi with a complex gearbox.

          • Arthur

            lectric motors are fine when they’re far from the little ones. It’s when you place one that’s over 400 hearsepower next to a child that you’re inviting to be beaten up all the way to the gates of hell…and the evil one knows all too well what I look like.

      • WeaponZero

        Tesla Model S P85D stops from 60-0 in 104ft
        VW Golf TDI stops from 60-0 in 117ft

        Aka, Tesla P85D has shorter stopping distance. And yes the P85D goes well on corners, far better than your Golf TDi.

        • Arthur

          WOW…104 ft for the P85D from 60 to 0…man…the Z28 needs 115 ft.

          Is that Motortrend that you’re getting your numbers from? MT reported 70 to 0 mph for P85 as 147 feet….my Panamera Turbo S has larger and higher performance disc brakes ($10G option), less inertia and much better and wider tires..and takes at least 150 feet to stop from 70 mph. Clearly MT is fabricating data, not reporting the truth on the TESLA. As you have stated many times, MT and other publications love the TESLA, so no wonder they are now busy deleting all the 70 to 0 mph breaking distance search results because it is easier to fool folks with 60 to 0 mph fake data. I doubt my Golf can stop faster than the BMW i8. The BMW stops from 60 in 119 ft, and all publications show the BMW beating P85 in stopping distance, and since the P85D has the same size brakes as the P85, the P85D will also take longer to stop than the P85 due to the extra 400 pounds of weight, and thus even longer than the BMW.

          I was able to dig deep and find again the 70 to 0 data for my Golf and the Model S from the same publication (C&D): Golf TDi in 170 ft,
          Tesla Model S in 174 ft.

          Again, my golf will get 45+ MPG on the highway, the most efficient TESLA Model S will struggle to get 23 MPGe once we account for electricity generation, transmission, distribution and even you told me the charger is up to a 12% loss.

          And no, Minnesota does not get most of its power from Hydro. In fact, most of it, by far, is from coal…so a TESLA in Minnesota is a worse polluter than a Hummer.

          By the way, Edmunds had to have the entire drivetrain replaced in their long term tester Tesla, including the huge battery, after a ridiculously low number of miles. I think MT had to do the same after even fewer miles…and the thing kept overheating on them….so they figured just put on as many miles as possible with the wheels off the ground to avoid more embarrassment for their PRECIOUS…so I guess that was MT’s first driverless long term test ever.

          So all the automobile manufacturers should design cars to have their entire drivetrains fail after 15,000 miles if they want their cars to be called the best ever by Edmunds and MT.

          More good stuff…..Edmunds did a stunt where they drove the TESLA cross country…but they needed a Suburban as a shadow vehicle because the drivers in the rotation REFUSED to sit in the back seat of the TESLA for some reason. BUT YOU WANT TO PUT KIDS IN THE BACK SEAT AND GIVE THEM CANCER AND YOUR EXCUSE IS THAT BENZENE CAUSES CANCER SO IT IS OK TO EXPERIMENT ON KIDS WITH 400 HP ELECTRIC MOTORS AND NOT TELL THE PARENTS OF THE RISKS FROM LONG TERM EXPOSURE DUE TO ELECTRIC MOTORS WITHIN INCHES OF THEIR CHILDREN’S BODIES AND NO EFFECTIVE SHIELDING. By the way, why did Bart Barton call you an ISIS sympathizer? Is that your strategy….to convince Americans to kill off their kids in the back seat of a TESLA?

          It’s May 3rd already…tell Mr. Musk that I’m done with him. The irony of all this is that he will need me for the next part of this war a helluva lot more than I will need him. My audience will not be impressed if I keep practicing on an easy target and show weakness by dwelling on some success. My people deserve someone who always ups the ante, someone who goes after a greater challenge as soon as it is within grasp. I will not disappoint them.

          • WeaponZero

            The reason why it is hard to find 70 to 0 data is because no one tests for it. Everyone uses 60 to 0 as the metric. I have never seen motortrends use 70 to 0. Maybe you are confusing them for someone else? Car and driver sometimes reports on 70 to 0, but motortrend, never did.

            The Model S with 174ft from 70 you are comparing to is the 60kwh. Not the P85.The i8 has a stopping distance from 60 of 108ft, P85 is 113ft.

            The P85D does have new brakes. Not the same as the P85. I quote:

            “The brakes bring big news, too. Rather than use a vacuum brake booster, Tesla uses an electromechanical brake setup. The feeling under your foot comes from the resistance of a spring and an electric motor. Tesla VP of vehicle engineering Chris Porrit says it’s like a steering rack on its side. The Porsche 918 is the only other production car using this system. The arrangement gives Tesla great flexibility with the automatic brakes in autopilot mode. The car can call for high-g braking in panic stops or gentle, chauffeur-style slowdowns. Concerned about brake feel? Tesla can tune it.”

            If you want to compare the MPG of a Tesla Model S vs a Golf and account for electricity generation, distribution loss and charger loss. You also have to count the refinement loss, distribution loss, fill up loss, storage loss and etc. You know, to have an equal calculation.

            And where did I say minnesota gets most of its power from hydro? MN is aboout 46% coal, so while coal is the largest in MN, it does not make up the most. Even if it was 100% coal, it would still be less than a hummer.

            Edmunds and MT both had early production models, that said most of their issues were noise related, not failure. Imagine you replaced a gas engine every time it made noise. After Tesla investigated, the culprit was a lose wire.

            And no Edmunds did not have a shadow driver Suburban, I think you are confusing Edmunds for someone else.

          • Arthur

            The Porsche 918 is a Hybrid, hence the need for special brake feel in order to better “blend in regenerative capability”. Without regeneration, the 918 would have even shorter stopping distances. What you have mentioned has nothing to do with the ability of the calipers to grip the discs.

            For comparison, the 911 GT3 has a 70-0 stopping distance of 135′ (Car and Driver). The 918 with bigger ceramic brakes has 70-0 stopping distance of 142′ (Car and Driver). The new 911 GT3 RS will stop even better than the 135′. No mention of TESLA having ceramic breaks. Good luck telling folks than the gravitationally challenged P85 has a 70-0 stopping distance of 147′ when my lighter Panamera Turbo S with bigger brakes needs 150′. Oh yeah, mine are also ceramic. Oh yeah, mine are six piston up front, P85 has four. Oh yeah, my tires are also wider and lower profile…..But, you will say that 2+2=5 and all the oil haters will agree with you and the lies spewed out by MT.

            Even Consumer Reports, a publication that we both agreed loves the PRECIOUS, lists a 60 to 0 stopping distance of 116 feet for a plain Panamera S (with skinnier tires and smaller brakes than mine and definitely no ceramic composite discs). Same publication (Best and Worst New Cars 2014), SAME PAGE (p 188), lists a 60 to 0 stopping distance of 128 feet for a P85. Again, P85D is heavier with no advantages in gripping the discs over the P85, so distance will be more. Now, 174 feet for 70 to 0 seems to make more sense for the overweight P85D. By the way, same CR magazine calls the TESLA their top-rated car ever.

            Thanks for acknowledging that my diesel VW stops better than some Tesla variants. Also, R&T reported 0.86 g on the skidpad for a Model S back in 2013 (probably P60). I have not found a value less than this for a 2015 Golf TDi anywhere. P85D is reported as having 0.91 g. My other un-modified Golf pulls 0.94 g and stops from 70 in 157 feet….both easily beat the P85D (unless you trust the 147 ft MT reports for the P85). Your P85D might just be able to keep up with my Type R on the track, that is until the battery starts to overheat (which usually means after a half a lap)….or perhaps there will be a lose wire. Oh yeah, I forgot, MT and others do not care any more about anything other than 0 to 60 time, or 0 to 30 in case the Lord of the Rings shows up with 110 Octane fuel.

            TESLA shows same disc size for P85D as for other variants, so it will have a longer stopping distance than the P85 since it is the behemoth of the bunch. The feel of the breaks will not enhance maximum performance. TESLA website also does not mention the number of pistons, so I am assuming the TESLA bloggers are not lying when they state only four pistons up front.

            Performance minded enthusiasts care about stopping distance from speeds greater than 60 MPH. Road and Track even lists 80 – 0 distance. If a car stops well from 80 or 70, it will surely stop well from 60. The opposite is not true due to heat build-up, especially when you’ve got over 5000 pounds to slow down. Also, shorter stopping distances from higher speeds matter most in accident avoidance.

            Regarding the backup drivers in the Suburban for the TESLA cross country trip, the following is from Jalopnik: “Last summer the car gurus at Edmunds.com took advantage of Tesla Motors’ ever-growing Supercharger network to drive coast-to-coast in a Model S in 67 hours and 21 minutes, record time for an electric vehicle. Carl Reese, of Santa Clarita, California, thought he and his friends could smash that record…. Reese and his fiancee Deena Mastracci sped across the country in their own red sticker-covered P85D with…..team of three more friends in a rented Chevrolet Suburban backing them up as timekeepers and support drivers.” OK…fine…after reading further they were not Edmunds, but thanks for helping me prove that neither the two Edmunds drivers nor these other cannonballers dared to have anyone sit in the back seat….I think we had the Melatonin discussion before and how long term exposure to powerful electro-magnetic fields affects various chemical processes in our bodies, even more so for children.

            Regarding “Edmunds and MT both had early production models” and “culprit was a lose wire”…I did some more research…..WOWZERS!!! The Edmunds tester had to have the drivetrain replaced four times in one year!!! There is no mention of a lose wire….perhaps there was some bird poop on the drivetrain and we all know Mr. Musk is a perfectionist. Also, both MT and Edmunds took delivery more than a year after the first deliveries started and both were 2013 models…first model year was 2012..c’mon man!!!! Really? Both were early production models? So much for the “perfectionist” quality.

            Bart Barton stated you are from Minnesota, so excuse me if that is not correct. Back in December, you stated on my second favorite politician’s business news site that where you live it’s 95% Hydro, which is not possible for Minnesota or any other state for that matter. Also, you did not seem to oppose Bart’s opinion of you being an ISIS sympathizer, so I’m assuming he is correct.
            Here is Jan 2015 data for Minnesota: Coal: 2600 GWh, Nuclear: 1200 GWh, Gas: 300 GWh, Hydro: 50 GWh, Other: 1000 GWh. So TOTAL for January: 5150 GWh, this places coal at over 50%.
            Regarding your statement that TESLA powered by 100% coal plant and charged in a typical home is better for environment than a Hummer…no comment…I don’t want to be rude.

            We’ve been through this before….the power plant has to get it’s fossil fuel as well. If you’re going to use the delta for petrol cars as the extra energy used up by the tanker truck to deliver the petrol to the gas station….then here we go again for the tenth time: Tanker truck delivers 10,000 galons of petrol to the gas station and burns 100 gallons of diesel to do so…that’s a 1 % loss. Even if it is a remote gas station and the tanker truck uses 200 gallons for round trip (enough for over 1000 miles of travel), that’s only 2% loss. You stated yourself back in December that just the Tesla charger alone is up to a 12% loss. Also, you are probably assuming that your coal power plant is sitting on a coal mine, or perhaps that your gas power plant is sitting right over the shale that is being fracked. C’mon man!!!
            What is important to note is that petrol and diesel is almost never used in power generation (except back-up generators). Thus, a petrol or diesel ICE automobile does not compete with our grid for fuel. Your PRESIOUS does, competing with homes, hospitals, malls, airports, street lights, schools, ports..etc.

            I came back to this blog because I wanted to add one more important item, but then I had some spare time so I decided to take the opportunity to address your many questionable statements…I still can’t believe the drivetrain had to be replaced four times in one year in the Edmund’s TESLA tester. But the owners love their PRECIOUS, so they’ll keep reliability issues on the low down. Anyway, I would like to keep my promise from the previous blog and not beat up TESLA any more. Perhaps if you did not state that all those drivetrains had to be replaced on account of a lose wire, I would not go into the discussions above and simply say the following important item:
            We started a discussion recently on EMF fields generated by strong DC currents. I want all our readers to believe me when I say that I will leave the 50 to 60 Hz AC EMF fields completely out of future discussions to the best of my ability. EVs generate mostly DC fields, so there is no reason to focus on AC fields in the 50 to 60 Hz range. Our grid has been around for a very long time….EVs are new. You see, I think some engineers got careless with their EV designs because they assumed that they were completely protected by the electric power industry and that anyone raising concerns about their PRECIOUS will have to talk to the power industry about electric power lines first. This is a completely wrong and irrelevant assumption. AC fields in the 50 to 60 Hz range are weak in EVs, so it is not important to bring these into future discussions. This means that the power industry will not be affected by the questions raised by engineers such as myself, engineers who are completely opposed to human experimentation and outraged by it. There is not much left for the human experimenters to hide behind.

          • Perttu Lehtinen

            Get a life.

          • Kenneth Beck

            I think you answered your own question on why without ridiculous brakes the tesla still has extremely good stopping power. Regen. Even while braking, the Regen is as high as 80hp of stopping just with the regen. Then any stopping power above and beyond that is brakes. I dont know what your issue is with the Tesla vehicles, but I think you just like to try peeing on everyones convo because you cannot afford it. None of your arguments make any sense. You claim it cant turn well because it is too heavy? Tires grip better with more weight, so that makes no sense. You claim stopping power sucks. but the system is a combination of Regen braking and brakes which offers better stopping ability. Then you claim it is less efficient than everything on the road because of coal power generation, line transmission loss, and charging efficiency? But again, it is an obvious show of ignorance on your part because this has been proven numerous times that even with coal power, Teslas still make half the pollution of normal cars. Reason for that is it takes 3-5kwh of electric power just to refine a gallon of gas. It takes fuel/power to pump up the oil and transport the oil to refineries, then from refinery to gas station, then power to pump the gas into your car, THEN your car only uses around 30% of the gas energy content to actually propel the car.
            If those claims weren’t bad enough, you go ahead and claim that it causes cancer???!?! WOW! I guess if electricity and magnetic propulsion causes cancer, you better get rid of your fridge, your computers, laptops, blender, microwaves, alternator in your car, your car battery, your fridge and freezer…cant use a furnace to heat your house…it has an electric motor to move air around….could cause cancer! I cant even say any of this without laughing at how ridiculous that claim is! I could keep poking holes in every claim you keep making, but typing this is getting tiring…and obviously if you are that desperate to come up with something to make people avoid tesla, then even proving you wrong wont make any difference. You’ll just try to fight to the bitter end for some unknown reason.

          • Arthur

            I’m not fighting for bitter end….but don’t take my word for it…just ask some of my friends…they will tell you that this is just practice…they’re already placing bets on the real fight that I’m training for…and it’s not TESLA….and when my friends place bets, it’s for a bit more than a few thousand bucks.

            Now regarding your senseless refusal to accept the laws of physics as these apply to four pot brakes and skinny tires trying to slow down two and a half tons of a battery on wheels that will kill many children from long term exposure:

            Road & Track, Zeptember 2015, (Jimmy) Page 98:

            Breaking 60-0 MPH:
            TESLA Model S P85D: 123 ft
            Volkswagen GTI: 116 ft
            Lord of the Rings Audi RS7: 111 ft

            My Panamera Turbo S with ceramic brakes and made by VW will stop even better than the Golf and should be close to the RS7. Once you start testing from higher speeds (70 MPH, 80 MPH), the PRECIOUS doesn’t have a prayer of even beating a Mini Cooper or a Miata. In fact, my Buick already beats the P85D from 60 MPH (same page R&T…119 ft) and handles better too (0.90g vs PRECIOUS’ 0.89g)

            Now what was that about me “peeing on everyone’s convo”?

          • Kenneth Beck

            Right, because it didnt take you a month to come up with something….and you blantantly ignore regen as braking power. Complete failure on your end as you most likely dont understand it. But hey, keep whining that some specs are SLIGHTLY lower than cars that are more expensive to begin with. I could quote the fact that it is cheaper to run a tesla and virtually no maintenance, but im sure any other fact you’ll ignore because you are so sure of yourself. You most likely havent even test drove a tesla, so your comments mean nothing. Im sure you were smart enough to actually drive both cars before comparing them, right?…oh, my bad, you havent.

          • Arthur

            Are you knocking futs? You commented on my statement three months after I made it and that is to a four month old article, and you’re crying that I took me a month to reply to your disconnection with reality. Just be grateful I noticed yer sorry S excuse of a comment. The only reason I responded was because I wanted to get a final printout and I noticed some newer comments. Fortunately gas2 website has the balls to keep my comments. Others don’t like reality so they ban me.

            Then you say “Complete failure on your end….keep whining that some specs are slightly lower”….do you know what “complete” even means? How does “some specs are slightly lower” support your “complete failure” argument?
            You keep conterdikin yerself (a form of asexuel reperduction).

            Cheaper does not mean more efficient. Free charging stations does not mean better for the environment.

            I don’t ignore facts and I’m not “so sure” of myself. I’m just waiting for all those ex-NASA scientists and engineers working at Spacex to come up with a valid answer…but they can’t…and believe me, it’s No. 1 on their priority list.

            Did you ever even sit in the Lord of the Rings?

            Also, I think I have listed more facts and statistics here than anyone else….but you will just say that I ignore facts. Here is a suggestion…why don’t you read all the comments first before making an idiot out of yourself….young feller.

  • Jonny_K

    But was it fast?

    • MisterEman


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  • zn

    Great to see a real piece of writing for once. The reason I read GAS2 and not other green motor sites is because I like the writers. To say it politely, you guys still have your balls. Keep it up.

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  • Alexandre Dube

    Every time I see article like this or comment it make me wonder if people before driving a tesla have drove anything else. My dad bought a P85 D and received it last week… I’ve tried it and I have to say it’s not the end of the world… I always had BMW M3 or AMG and my dad also have an Aston Martin Rapide and he prefer to drive his Aston Martin but like the tech inside the Tesla. We both agreed that it was not the fastest nor the funnier car we’ve drove. It is fast and it is fun but not the end of the world. I still like the big grounding sound of a V8 or a big Turbo while I’m pushing it :P. Also the finish inside the car is not top notch.

    • Arthur

      Hey there young feller….sounds to me like you wrote this right after your mind got scrambled some after sittin too long and at arms lenght to some seriosly powerfool lectric moters.

      • Alexandre Dube

        Yes sorry, I’m originally speaking French and German lol

        • Arthur

          OK there young feller. Bimmers are mighty nice….but my personal preference is PORSCHE…on account of there not being no substitute..and Vanna likes em too….gets her in the mood if yer knows what I mean…and on account of you liking big Turbo or V8..I think you do knows what I mean… Just don’t sit too long in your Papa’s PRECIOUS P85D’s back seat lest you don’t want any little ones in yer future…..that there pair of lectric motors will mutate your gonads if yer sit on em for too long.