Stuff I Want: Scion Pit Boss Cartel iQ

As you may recall from my thrilling and engrossing commentary a year ago, the then-new Scion iQ was my favorite car of the 2011 Chicago Auto Show. After spending several hours listening to GM flaks, checking out new Hyundais and Dodge Darts, and driving around in a Fiat 500, however, it looked like the year-old Scion iQ was going to be my favorite car at the 2012 Chicago Auto Show, as well …

… but then I saw this: the Scion Pit Boss Cartel iQ.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am in love. Not some crude, lusty sort of pseudo-love like the kind I wanted to slather onto the flanks of the new NSX (Oh no, Sir!). This was the kind of love that blindsides you while you’re holding a weeks-old puppy at the pound and it falls asleep in your arms.

If you don’t take that puppy home, then you’re a jackwad.

Sadly, I was NOT allowed to drive the angry little blue Pit Boss home. I named him “Bossy”.

Despite being pale and fat, I managed to successfully flirt my way into the spartan cockpit long enough to both make “Vroom!” noises while yanking the wheel back and forth like a mental patient and play some Michael Jackson and Bone Thugs n’ Harmony on Bossy’s brilliant (Brilliant!) Alpine audio system.

Aside: I’m old and I like that stuff. GET OFF MY LAWN!

The rest of the car was a cornucopia of trick racer kit, with on-board air tools to quickly swap out Bossy’s street-biased front tires with track-ready Toyo rubber mounted to lightweight performance rims (visible in the back of the car). A rollaway jack stows neatly in Bossy’s rear bumper, as well, making trackside service for the ACT clutch and uprated brake system a breeze.

With its combination of relatively low cost, high mileage, great, party-making audio gear and serious trackday fun just waiting to happen, I submit (for your consideration) that this little Bossy concept Scion represents the most (legal) fun you can have in a car, whether or not you’ve got your pants on.

Now, if only they’d build me one …

Source: 2012 Chicago Auto Show.

Jo Borrás

I've been in the auto industry 1997, and write for a number of blogs in the IM network. You can also find me on Twitter, at my Volvo fansite, out on two wheels, or chasing my kids around Oak Park, IL.