Compressed Natural Gas (CNG) pizzatime

Published on February 18th, 2014 | by Jo Borras


Chevron Explosion Kills, Chevron Gives Away Free Pizzas

Chevron Pizza

Last week, residents of Bobtown, PA were awoken by a massive, fiery blast at the town’s Chevron-owned fracking well. The explosion is believed to have killed at least one person, with another worker injured and a number of area residents seriously, rightfully frightened by the blast. Chevron knew it had to do something, but what could possibly alleviate the fears of Bobtown residents and show that Chevron felt the full weight and import of the loss of their worker’s life?

Why- free pizza, of course!

Now, I’m usually the first one to point out how awful the crooked, lying, fear-mongering, price-gouging oil and gas companies are. Still- and I’m being honest- I thought this was a hoax. There is no way a company that claims to hire intelligent live humans could be so monumentally stupid, I thought. Until I saw this …

Chevron Pizza

… which, yeah. That looks an awful lot like a gift certificate for a pizza- and if that’s not proof that the oil and gas companies are peopled by s***-eating monsters who should be hanged on principle, I honestly don’t know what is. Even more than bribing conning the Brazilian gov’t into taking $42 million instead of the $17.5 billion it was (successfully) sued for, I think. You can make the argument that it’s good Chevron chose a local brand or deride them for not giving out a brand-name pizza coupon on your own time.


Sources | Photos: I Acknowledge, Yahoo! Finance.

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About the Author

I've been involved in motorsports and tuning since 1997, and write for a number of blogs in the Important Media network. You can find me on Twitter, Skype (jo.borras) or Google+.

  • J_JamesM

    That’s just lovely. They thought to actually apologize. How touching. It’s better than death threats, I suppose.

  • Jo Borras

    Personally, I’d have preferred Dominos or, maybe Papa John’s, if only ironically.

  • susannaschick

    I take it the special combo is laced with SOMA or some other “fuck it” drug.

    • Jo Borras

      I’d eat that.

  • curly4

    We cannot have the money grubbing oil companies killing our citizens. What we need is the government to take over all energy companies, coal, gas, petroleum, electric and nuclear that way we can stop the money hungry multi millionaires and millionaires and stop them from polluting the environment and at the same time have a better supply of energy at a lower cost.

  • protomech

    Is there a second page to that, or is the status update in name only?

    • Jo Borras

      Your status is that you now have a pizza. You may consider yourself updated.

  • Jason Carpp

    What a crock! How can free pizza help alleviate the problem? From the massive explosion, people got killed, massive damage to power running through the town. Water pollution.

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