Earth to Congressman Massa: That’s Not What “Efficiency” Means
Last week, Famous DC was the first to report on New York’s recently elected congressman Eric Massa’s poorly-conceived environmental publicity stunt. Massa’s plan was to drive from his congressional district in New York to Washington DC in a hydrogen fuel-cell powered car. In other words: an efficient, leisurely, and environmentally responsible drive across 300 miles of the American Northeast.
“What,” you may be asking, ”could possibly go wrong?”
Plenty.
More on why we should never, Never, NEVER elect public officials who are bad at math after the jump.
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First off, the fuel-cell car that Massa selected to drive the aforementioned 300 miles only had a range of 175 – 200 miles (depending on who you believe), and there were exactly zero (0) hydrogen fuel cell filling stations en route.
Not to let silly little obstacles like “numbers” get in his way, the good congressman decided that he could solve this problem. He’d simply drive two (2) hydrogen fuel-cell powered cars to DC. (!?)
I think it happened like this: with the range problem solved, Massa could focus on the second logistical barrier standing in his way. Namely, that he had to switch cars somewhere between New York and DC. Massa, now faced with a problem he could understand and wrap his brain around, decided that the best way to make sure the second car would appear when he needed it was … wait for it … TO TOW A SECOND FUEL-CELL CAR BEHIND A FULL-SIZE SUV! (!!?)
Problem solved!
All Massa had to do now was get the second fuel-cell car back home to New York. What he needed, then, was … wait for it … w a i t f o r i t … A SECOND FULL-SIZE SUV!
That’s a fuel-cell powered car driving approximately half the distance from NY to DC, followed by a full-size SUV towing a second fuel-cell powered car, and a second full-size SUV to tow the second fuel-cell powered car back home.
SO, that small fleet of 3 vehicles (with 1 in tow) drove 200 miles each under their own power (600 total driven miles), then one of them drove 200 miles back (800 total driven miles). The second car drove 100 miles under its own power, followed by the second SUV (1000 total driven miles), then the second SUV drove back to NY (300 more miles, for 1,300 driven miles), which means this caravan of four (4!) vehicles traveled approximately thirteen-hundred (1,300!) total miles to deliver one (1!) freshman congressman from New York to Washington DC.
No word yet on how Massa plans to get home.
Image Credit: MassaForCongress.com






January 20th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Please tell me he’s been talked out of this.
January 20th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Yep that about sums up Congress. Why spend once when they can quadruple the expense.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
@Allison
This already happened.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
(shakes head)
What a jack@ss!
This is the kind of thinkers we have in Washington DC, and yet there are some who want government to grow.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Wow.
Just…
wow.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Note: I am bad at math, and should not be elected to public office. The math actually works out to 1300 miles, not the 1100 I had posted earlier.
(thanks!)
I made the correction.
January 21st, 2009 at 4:22 am
OK peoples, Why would anyone express surprise. After all this is a congressman. Any Senator would have been knowledgeable enough to simply tow a refueling rig on the trailer. The Senator might even be smart enough to tow the trailer with a heavy duty diesel powered pickup truck rather than a gasoline powered SUV. Some of them would make the round trip without refueling.
January 21st, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Or a really smart senator would have taken the train.
January 22nd, 2009 at 2:48 am
He represents my district (and I voted for him). Uggh!
January 26th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
@Mike
HA-ha!
March 14th, 2009 at 5:33 am
No word on how he’s getting home… I say he should walk home. Dumb@$$
April 10th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
I have to assume that someone other than the good congressman writes his speeches.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:44 am
To bad it is not only him that has peanut butter for a brain. Out of the 600+ senators & congressmen most are there because they are the most electable – not because they are worth having!
I suppose he is a lawyer as well.